


Cerulean

by Banana Boy (imbetterlive)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Eren is their adopted child, Erwin and Levi are married, Extremely Underage, M/M, Other, Pedophilia, VERY GRAPHIC AND UPSETTING, domestic abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 18:17:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5058973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imbetterlive/pseuds/Banana%20Boy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi loves Erwin. He'll do anything for him. Even this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cerulean

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys. This is a little darker than usual. If you didn't get it from the description- Erwin and Levi are married. Erwin is a pedophile. They adopt Eren. Levi is too afraid to stop Erwin from hurting him. If you are triggered by pedophilia, rape, or spousal abuse, do not read this, please. If you disagree with me writing this, please do not read.

Levi loves Erwin.

Really, really loves him. He'd been charmed since the first day he saw the man, hair perfectly combed back and suit impeccable, laughing with the higher-ups in the office they'd met at. Levi had been gotten an internship there when he was nineteen, in his second year of college, and soon he'd dropped out to tie on a full-time job. Erwin was twenty-eight at the time, and as close to the top of the food chain as you could be without being the boss. 

Everything he did was so effortless. Typing at his computer, answering phone calls with that meltingly sultry voice of his, giving Levi such a charming smile that he felt a little scandalized. Hell, he looked so gorgeous Levi nearly dropped dead on the spot when he showed up at work half an hour late, soaking wet from the rain, tie flipped over his shoulder and hair hanging in his face. He used one hand to comb it back, and apologized to everyone in his office for being late. He bought everyone drinks that night to make up for it.

Levi had no idea how he'd caught the man's attention. At one of their rather rowdy office parties, Levi standing with a few of the younger, yet still older than him, workers, and Erwin had come up to him with a glass of some unidentifiable, probably ridiculously expensive alcohol. Levi had stuttered out something about being underage, and Erwin pressed it into his hand, winking at him.

"I won't tell if you won't," he'd said, and from that moment on Levi was smitten.

Erwin had gotten him into bed within a month. Levi had tried his best to keep his virginity to him, but Erwin took it, and took it well. Levi had been rendered unable to walk for three days, and Erwin had gotten him time off to heal.

Within a week they were dating openly. Erwin would kiss him in front of all of their colleagues, his easy smile never faltering, a large arm draped around Levi's shoulders whenever he was in close enough proximity. It all seemed too good to be true. How in the world had he, a small awkward college dropout with a severe case of emotional constipation, managed to snag both a top-paying office job in one of the corporations he'd admired as a young boy, and a gorgeous older boyfriend who showered him in lavish gifts and constant attention?

He was in love with Erwin in a pathetically short time. Hell, he practically fawned over him when the man wasn't by his side. Those cerulean eyes, that bright white smile, those large hands that cradled Levi like a doll. 

Erwin asked Levi to marry him when Levi was twenty-one and he himself was thirty. Levi had agreed, absolutely ecstatic, and they'd married in a church with their family and friends and flown off to Maui the same day. 

Their honeymoon was three weeks, and it flew by in a whirlwind. Each day was spent sightseeing, snorkeling, taking wonderfully cheesy photographs in front of tourist attractions and roaming the beach together, laying in the sun with their hands intertwined. Nights, however, were hotter than Hawaii itself, spent in a fit of passion in their bed, rolling around and becoming one. 

When they'd been married for two months, Erwin asked Levi to quit his job, take care of the house and become a sort of stay-at-home husband. Levi was sad to leave, sad to discard the dream he'd had for so long, but he loved Erwin with everything he had, and so he did.

Days were long, and boring. He cleaned the house repetitively until it became muscle memory. Erwin complained that his hands were always stained with bleach, but kissed each finger regardless. He had dinner ready at seven-thirty, when Erwin would arrive home, and poured him a drink while he ate.

When they'd been married for a year, Levi found out about Erwin's rather unusual sexual preferences. They'd been talking, pouring their hearts out to each other, and Erwin had held him tightly around his thin waist and asked if he could share something private. 

Erwin liked boys. Little boys. Levi, as sick as it made him feel, wasn't surprised. Erwin had often commented on how much he enjoyed Levi's tiny frame, how his wrists were so small and his legs were so short. He'd found it strange, and was almost relieved that he'd found out why.

He didn't leave Erwin. He loved Erwin. Erwin was the only source of his income. Erwin, Erwin, Erwin.

 

When they'd been married for one year and nine months, Erwin proposed adoption. "I'm getting old," he'd said, rubbing Levi's back. It was true, in a way. He was already thirty-three. "I'd like to have a next of kin." Levi, again, wasn't surprised when Erwin suggested adopting a boy. He almost protested, almost, but the old familiar feeling from when Erwin was courting him, that the man could do better, that he'd leave Levi if Levi didn't please him, left him silent.

They adopted a nine-year-old boy named Eren. His eyes were green, bright green, the kind that seemed to glow even in the dark. Levi loved him immediately, and apparently Erwin did as well.

They showered him with gifts. He'd been in multiple foster homes beforehand, but was surprisingly trusting. By his tenth birthday, in which he was surrounded by his new school friends and more gifts than he knew what to do with, he was calling Levi 'Dad' and Erwin 'Papa'. Levi was happy at this. He wasn't really maternal, but quickly became fiercely protective of the small boy. He saw how Erwin looked at the kid, and the look was unsettlingly familiar. 

It was how Erwin used to look at Levi.

They still had sex, and it was still great. Erwin was a loving partner, but if Levi listened closely enough he could hear him grunting out their son's name instead of Levi's. 

It was two months after Eren's tenth birthday that Erwin began going into his room at night.

The first time, Levi was reading in the living room, and he heard Eren's door close and lock.

He put in his earbuds and blasted music so loudly it hurt. It still wasn't enough to drown out Eren's pleading.

The next morning Levi made breakfast silently. He'd not slept. Erwin had come into their bed at nearly two in the morning, smelling of sex and sweat and cigarettes. He had held Levi to him, kissed him. 

"You're so good to me, Levi." He'd said. The phrase had made bile rise in Levi's throat. "I love you so much. No one understands me like you do."

Eren showed up at the breakfast table with red, swollen eyes. He didn't look at Levi as he was served his french toast and eggs, just stared at them until it was nearly time to leave for school. Eren began to cry halfway to the door, and Levi quickly ushered him back to his bedroom and shut his door.

He couldn't bring himself to comfort Eren. Couldn't bring himself to admit to what he'd done, to confront the entirety of the suffering he'd caused the small child. He couldn't bear to tell Eren that it wouldn't be the last time.

And it wasn't.

Erwin went into Eren's room every night, except for when he was too tired from work. The first few times it happened Levi heard Eren screaming for him, begging for Levi to come help him, asking why this was happening. He pressed his pillow tighter over his ears. Levi loved Erwin. Erwin loved Levi. It had to be this way.

Eren stopped calling for him eventually. He stopped calling at all. Erwin acted like everything was normal, like his husband wasn't being eaten from the inside out with guilt and his son wasn't being raped every night.

The man was content. He toted Eren around in his arms like the boy was five, bought him everything he looked at twice, let him get away with only anything. 

"No spanking him," he'd warned Levi once. "We will not use violence in this house." Levi thought that was ironic.

Eren became distant from Levi. It became difficult for them to spend time together without Erwin. Levi had no idea what to say. The kid had been through more than Levi had ever been through in his life. He was suffering so much, being hurt by the person he was supposed to trust, and Levi couldn't help him.

He bathed Eren on the days when it was really bad, when the boy could barely move from his bed. He washed the sticky whiteness from his thighs and ass, and caught a glimpse of his asshole, which was cherry red and sore-looking. Levi looked away.

Levi did a lot of looking away. He averted his eyes when Erwin pulled Eren into his lap in the midst of a family movie night and pushed a hand into his pajama pants, wanting to feel his smooth thighs. He looked further away when he felt Eren's gaze on him, frightened, pleading silently for help.

Levi hated himself more and more with each passing day. He hated that every time he woke the kid up he flinched, staring up at Levi with enormous, always-swollen eyes. He hated the disappointment that flooded the kid's face, like he thought he might wake up somewhere, anywhere else but this godforsaken house.

Levi only tried to comfort Eren once. Long after Erwin had come back into his room and fallen asleep, he crept into the boy's room and sat on his bed. He could still hear him sniffling.

"Eren," he'd said softly, throat tightening at the pitiful sight, the tiny body curled up under the covers. "Eren, I'm so sorry."

He'd tried to lay down, tried to hold Eren to his chest so he could try and fail to make amends. There were no amends for something like this.

Eren had reached out with surprising force, shoving him with both hands off the bed. Levi had hit the floor with a loud thud, too shocked to get up for a long time.

Erwin woke up, and when he stepped into Eren's room and saw Levi, a smile slowly spread over his face. Levi watched him, watched those cerulean eyes that once looked upon him so affectionately turned dark with an emotion he didn't want to identify.

"If you wanted to try him out, you should have just said." Erwin had chuckled, and helped Levi up onto the bed. Levi's heart was pounding out of his chest and he was shaking like a frightened rabbit. Everything seemed to be in slow motion.

The next thing he knew his pajama pants were around his knees and Erwin's hand was around him. Eren was watching them, his face absolutely unreadable. He tried to close his eyes but Erwin snapped something and they opened again.

Levi closed his eyes. Shame overwhelmed him, pulled him under, choked the air from his lungs. He wanted to cry, wanted to scream and run and hide because he couldn't live this way. Couldn't have his son watching him be touched in such an intimate way. Couldn't have any of this. 

He stayed soft, and Erwin eventually got bored and pulled his pajama pants back up. 

"Next time you can touch him," He said to Levi, like it was something to look forward to. He gave Eren a long kiss before heading out the door and back to their bedroom.

Levi skipped the bedroom and walked straight through to the bathroom. He vomited once, and then turned on the shower, and let his tears swirl down the drain with the water from the spout.

 

It all came to a head when Levi returned from the grocery store one afternoon, after leaving Eren in the living room with a bowl of grapes and a TV show playing. He opened the door, and saw a sock laying on the ground. That wasn't uncommon, as Eren often got too hot and left various layers of clothing around the house.

He set the groceries down in the foyer and headed to the kitchen. There he stopped cold.

Eren was on the counter, pinned there, his slim hips pushed to the counter. Erwin was above him, half-naked, his suit pants unzipped.

He was inside of Eren, and Eren wasn't making a sound. He wasn't crying.

Levi stood there in absolute shock, and he knew if he looked any longer he'd be sick. He focused his eyes on Erwin's face. He was panicking, panicking because Jesus, he'd never imagined how it would look before and Eren looked _so fucking small_. 

"Stop," he croaked out, not even meaning to, the words pushed out of his throat. "Stop, Erwin."

Erwin frowned, and looked up at Levi, his hips stilling. "What?"

"Stop," he repeated. "You have to stop. You're.. you're hurting him."

Erwin's face darkened. He didn't move.

"Eren likes it."

"He doesn't. He doesn't. Look at him." The kid was shaking like a dog. "Stop. Stop right fucking now."

Erwin pulled out in one movement and Eren made a sound like he was dying. He shoved himself back into his pants and buttoned them up, advancing on Levi.

Levi went numb with fear, feeling smaller than ever, but out of the corner of his eye he saw the naked Eren scamper out of the room, and that was a small mercy.

His relief immediately dissipated as the back of Erwin's hand connected with Levi's cheek hard, the force throwing him to the floor and knocking his head against the wall. 

"You don't tell me what to do." Erwin said, his voice low and dangerous. "Remember that."

Levi was so shocked by the violence that he didn't say a thing. Just stood, and nodded, and headed to his bedroom.

 

That night, he knew he'd had enough. And so had Eren. Once was too many times, and he could not allow himself to be an enabler any longer. He could not let an innocent child be hurt under his watch for any more time. 

In the dead of the night, he packed his things into a suitcase, hands shaking, breath coming quick in fear that Erwin might wake up. He took his own credit card, one that could still access the money Levi had in his own bank account before he began using Erwin's, shoving that and all the cash in the house into his pocket. He took the keys of one of Erwin's cars and shoved all of his things in the back. The last thing he took was a photograph of him and Erwin, back when Levi was only twenty, at the office together. They looked so happy. He stared at it for a moment and put it into his bag.

He went into Eren's room next and the boy woke, looking fearful, immediately sitting up. He watched Levi with disbelief, as if he expected the man to harm him like Erwin had. 

Levi didn't say a thing, just took Eren's things, his clothing and his toys and his nintendo and all of his games. He packed his favorite pillow and his schoolbooks, glancing over his shoulder every few seconds to ensure Erwin wasn't watching him from the doorway.

He put everything into the backseat of the car, stuffing it and the trunk full, and then returned for Eren. He bundled the boy up in his sheets, carried him like a swaddled baby out into the car and put him in the front seat. He knew Erwin wouldn't call the police on the missing car. The moment they arrested Levi, he could tell what Erwin had done, and Eren was the proof.

He drove away in the middle of the night, hands shaking where they clutched the wheel, crying loudly and unashamedly. Eren watched him from the passenger's seat, quiet, looking worried.

Finally, when Levi was shaking so hard he was afraid he'd crash the car, he pulled over into an empty parking lot outside of an abandoned department store. He let himself cry for a minute more, then wiped furiously at his eyes with his sleeves, and looked over at Eren.

"No more," he said finally. "No more. He won't... I won't... We're leaving, Eren, we're leaving. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." The words spewed out of him at rapid-fire pace and he watched the kid, panting, praying for his forgiveness.

Eren didn't say anything, just reached over and placed his small hand atop Levi's. Levi burst into tears again, and squeezed the boy's small fingers as he cried. 

 

Six months later, they were settled in an apartment seven cities away from Erwin. It was big enough for Eren to roam around in, but nowhere near as big as Erwin's enormous house had been. They were both okay with that.

Erwin had contacted Levi several times, leaving him voicemails that begged for his forgiveness, promising he'd never touch Eren again, that he loved Levi and couldn't live without him. It was so tempting, so fucking tempting to go back to him, but one look at Eren's face and Levi couldn't.

They'd had to move again two months back when Erwin had tracked Levi's cell phone using his number and showed up at their smaller apartment three cities across from where they used to live. Eren had immediately gone stiff with fright, and Erwin only left when Levi had his phone in hand, police dialed, finger hovering over the call button. 

Eren had cried for hours afterward, and Levi had held him, whispering apologies into his hair. He'd smashed his phone in the backyard with a hammer from his neighbor's toolset and gotten a new one with a new number.

Then they'd moved again, and that was where they resided now, in a cozy town with lovely people. It was the town an old childhood friend of Levi's lived in, Hanji Zoe, and they reconnected with ease. Levi got a job at the library downtown, which paid a ridiculous amount of money to clean and sort through old books, and Eren hung out there after school when he was waiting for his father's shift to end.

By the time Eren turned thirteen, he still called Levi 'Dad', and Erwin was never brought up. He'd made new friends easily, and Levi supervised many, many sleepovers. One night, cleaning the house after Eren and his friend Armin had left mud tracks through the kitchen after playing outside in the rain, he came across his old suitcase and found a picture tucked into the front pocket.

It was him and Erwin. He hadn't seen the man's face in so long it was almost startling. He expected to be hit with a wave of regret, pining, but he felt nothing.

The man he'd loved was not the man Erwin was. There was nothing to miss, because nothing had been there in the first place. He'd loved Erwin, but he loved Eren now, and he'd made his decision. When he looked at the picture, at Erwin's cerulean eyes shining so brightly, he felt as though he was looking at a stranger.

He liked it that way.

**Author's Note:**

> That was heavy. Sorry for how graphic it was.
> 
>  
> 
> Edit as of May 2016- I am disgusted by this work. It is written childishly and it's filled with gratuitous porn and events so dramatic that they are absolutely ridiculous. I am very glad so many of you have enjoyed this and identified with it but personally I wish I had never posted this. Take this message as you will. Enjoy the work regardless. Thank you for your support


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